Why I Miss Myself

Why I miss myself: because I liked my old self better. He was younger, tighter, happier, got laid more, was more clever. I am used and put away wet; I have things I can’t forget that weigh upon me before sleeping – I am nervous now, I let my doubts make sure I don’t sound confident – my hands and voice each shake. I dream happy hour specials and prescription pills to take to calm me down, just calm me down already – god my heart beats fast. I feel worn and used and spent and like I was much better last year, barely a week past – shaking, my hands grab for hope and find nothing but dryness and secondhand smoke.

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~ by perfectionatrix on January 5, 2012.

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