Evening Flavored

I could be crying right now, but I am just biting down, holding each breath for a count before I push it back out. I could be crying but instead I am happier than ever. I feel better so much better and I swear that I would never want you to think that I could implicate you in my fall – the long awaited ragged spiral that will one day serve to call you back to passages from Bibles and the Francis Scott Key Mall. No I would make it crystal clear that I was acting on my own – singular enough that no one else could have known a single sorry thing about it whatever this it that I’ve founded keeps referring to obliquely. I used to think that you could hear me. I was a goddamn moron and all that’s changed is I clearly see it in the things I do to keep myself arm’s length from you. I probably should be crying. Doesn’t everyone feel blue? I keep cold air on my flushed face. I really think it helps.

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~ by perfectionatrix on January 12, 2010.

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